Three

“Hey, it’s me again.” I responded to his greeting.

            “Long time no talk.” He joked, sounding slightly surprised that I called him back so unexpectedly. “Is everything okay?” Of course something had to be wrong if we talked more than once a day.

            “No, everything’s fine.” I couldn’t put into words why I called. “I just wanted to talk to you again. Are you busy?"

            “Nope, just hanging out.” I decided to ignore the fact that not twenty minutes ago he had to hang up and do something else. “How’s the writing?”

            “I got kinda sidetracked when you called.” I told him honestly.

            “Oh. Sorry.” He apologized. As a writer himself, he knew all about the zone and how it sucked to be distracted from it.

            “It’s okay. I’ll just start again later.” Sometimes when we talked it sounded so formal. “I think I’m going to go out to dinner with Becca tonight. She’s in town for a conference or something.”

            “Oh, really? You’ll have to tell her I said hi.” Adam was lying through his teeth. Becca always hated him and he knew it. She thought I should be with someone who was a little more readily available than Adam was, and she pretty much thought he was just stringing me along.

            “I might not.” I offered a slight laugh. “If you don’t mind.”

            “Good idea.” He approved. “Hey, listen. I was thinking that next weekend you could fly out to Florida to hang out for a couple days. We have Sunday off, and it’s not enough time for me to come up there, but if you swung my way we could pull it off.”

            “Hang on, let me check my calendar.” I got up and padded into the kitchen, where my calendar was posted on a cabinet. “Next weekend? I have a meeting with Erin on Saturday afternoon. She’s been away with her husband so she’s making me meet her on a weekend. So I guess I can’t. Sorry.”

            “Oh, come on.” Adam whined, used to getting his way all the time. “You used to fly out and see me all the time.”

            “I didn’t have a real job then.” I pointed out. “Maybe another weekend, okay?”

            “We don’t have any other days off till forever.” He was really overly dramatic for a guy. “I miss you, Sam.”

            “I miss you, too.” I sighed, my voice echoing with sincerity. “But we’ve made it a long time without seeing each other.”

            “Do you want a prize?” He asked dryly, immediately on the defensive.

            “No, but I was going to say a few more weeks won’t kill us.” I finished. “I didn’t call you to fight, you know.”

            “I know. It just sucks sometimes.”

            “Yeah, it does.” I agreed. “I’ll see if I can reschedule with Erin, but not promises, okay?”

            “You’re the best.” Adam’s voice perked up. “I would love to see that pretty face of yours in two weeks, you know that right?”

            “I think you’d like to see this pretty face in your bed in two weeks.” I teased with a laugh, feeling completely comfortable with our conversation for the first time in forever. “Not that I would mind.”

            “Hey, I’ve got my needs.” He joked, and our banter continued for a few more minutes until we both really had to go and get ready for our evenings.

            This time when we hung up I felt more refreshed and happy than I had in a while; I thought that the spark was still there and we still cared. Maybe it was worth fighting for after all.

            As I got ready for my evening out with Becca, I stood in front of the mirror with my blow dryer, debating if I should go for broke or not. I didn’t need to dress up for Becca, but it was night to look presentable every now and then. As an author, it was practically in the job description to look somewhat disheveled, and I usually fit that description quite well.

            I turned on the blow dryer and resigned my fate as I hung my head upside-down and went to work. After a while the torture was over and I had myself a nice, dry head of auburn hair that fell nicely around my shoulders. I barely recognized myself looking so put together; I was wearing a nice pair of black pants and a royal blue v-necked shirt that complimented the sparkle in my necklace.

            I was meeting Becca at a local Italian restaurant that we ate at a lot when we were in college and feeling a little fancy. She didn’t live in Rhode Island anymore; she moved to Connecticut for a marketing job, so we didn’t see each other very often. We kept in touch mostly through e-mail and the occasional phone call, so when she told me she was going to be in Providence for a meeting, we immediately made plans to get dinner.

            Becca was pretty much a power house, she even looked intimidating. She played lacrosse all through high school and college, so she was broad shouldered and athletic, with a curly mop of brown hair pulled atop her head. She had a somewhat square face, and Adam always said she would make a handsome guy but she left a lot to be desired as a woman, but that might just be because he doesn’t like her.

            We talked about the superficial things first; the weather, work, our parents, our siblings. Then we talked about her new relationship with Eric from Finance, which was going pretty well. They apparently were both the only Patriots fans working in the building and hit it off from there.

            “So, you’re still with Adam?” She tried to hide this distaste from her voice.

            “Yes.” I smiled at her, knowing she didn’t really want to talk about it. “And I know you don’t like him, but I really want your advice, so if you could put your dislike aside for a few minutes, I would really appreciate it.”

            “Of course.” Becca nodded at me to continue.

            I told her all about how our talks were short and not so sweet, and how the ‘I love you’s seemed like an obligation, and although I was one-hundred percent positive I loved him, I didn’t know if that even meant anything anymore. “I just don’t know what to think right now. I know we love each other, but sometimes I feel like we love each other because it’s routine, because it’s what we know. It’s not like I’ve found someone else- or even looked, for that matter, but I find myself wondering a lot more than I ever did.”

            Becca was silent for a few moments as she took in what I said. “Well, you can’t expect it to be perfect all the time, but from the way you explained it, it seems as if it’s been far from perfect for a while.” I nodded. “Um, I guess what you should do is talk to him about it, but that shit’s hard over the phone. I don’t really know what to tell you, Sam. I mean, we all know I don’t like Adam, but you guys somehow manage to make each other happy in this crazy world.”

            “Yeah, but what if he doesn’t anymore?” I finished my glass of wine quickly. “What if everything’s changed and we’re hold on for no reason?”